Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Under the Basket

Matthew 5:14-16 (CEB)

You are the light of the world. A city on top of a hill can’t be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they put it on top of a lampstand, and it shines on all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before people, so they can see the good things you do and praise your Father who is in heaven.

Mark 4:21-22 (CEB)

Jesus said to them, "Does anyone bring in a lamp in order to put it under a basket or a bed? Shouldn’t it be placed on a lampstand?  Everything hidden will be revealed, and everything secret will come out into the open.

But...

My lamp feels cosy and safe tucked up inside this basket.

The basket has been woven from memories.  Painful memories.  When I've experienced rejection, ridicule and humiliation.  And I find myself repeating those memories to myself: "no, you don't want to try that, remember last time you did that..."  Better to keep hidden, keep secret, the memories tell me, after all there are so many other lamps far prettier and brighter than yours, no-one would be interested in your feeble little flickering light. When no-one knows the lamp exists, then no-one can tell me my lamp isn't good enough.

Except...

Covering a lit lamp  with a flamable basket is probably not really a very good idea.  If the lamp doesn't end up snuffed out, the basket itself could ignite with catastrophic consequences.

So I've decided it's time to start unravelling the basket.  To pull apart the fears and vulnerabilities and insecurities that are keeping me hidden. This is not going to be easy, but there are particular shadows in this corner of the world that it's my job to shine into.