All Saints Eve

I’ve managed to avoid having much to do with Halloween. Until now.

The children were quite comfortable with being told “We just don’t do Halloween in our family, because Mummy doesn’t like it.” Until now.

Young Lady asked to go trick-or-treating with her friend.  I said no.

I sat down with her and explained why I don’t like Halloween, that I feel uncomfortable with the emphasis on ghosts and ghouls and scary creepy things.  I explained why I dislike trick-or-treating, (going up to strangers doors to ask for lollies when the rest of the time we tell children not to accept lollies from strangers, the potential for sugar overload, the implied encouragement of extortion and the commercialisation of the whole event.)  Young Lady was unconvinced.  “I’ll be with my friend, and I could find a nice costume not a scary one.”

No.  It’s just not Kiwi.  (Any stray trick-or-treaters that venture down our driveway are offered fresh fruit instead.  I’m not a complete spoil sport.)

But I’ve nothing against children having fun.  So I found a “Spring Party” hosted by a Church in the next suburb (Dress up but no scary costumes).  I encouraged the children to think of a mini-wearable-arts project we could make (in three days with a tight budget).  They sat down with pencil and paper and designed some ideas, I spent more than I intended at the local craft shop, and headed over to L’s to use her sewing machine and expertise.

“I’m not having fun!” grinned L as she gleefully snipped and sewed. Yeah, right. 

We created a white dove, a black cat, and a blue space-man.

Then it turned out Young Lady’s friend didn’t really want to go trick-or-treating either (it was big sister’s idea) and was quite happy to join us in a non-scary event.

They had such a good time they all want to go back again next year.

Collect on the Eve of All Saints’

Almighty God,you have knit together your elect
in one communion and fellowship
in the mystical body of your Son Christ our Lord:
grant us grace so to follow your blessed saints
in all virtuous and godly living
that we may come to those inexpressible joys
that you have prepared for those who truly love you;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

Happy All Saints’ Eve everyone.

Under the Basket

Matthew 5:14-16 (CEB)

You are the light of the world. A city on top of a hill can’t be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they put it on top of a lampstand, and it shines on all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before people, so they can see the good things you do and praise your Father who is in heaven.

Mark 4:21-22 (CEB)

Jesus said to them, "Does anyone bring in a lamp in order to put it under a basket or a bed? Shouldn’t it be placed on a lampstand?  Everything hidden will be revealed, and everything secret will come out into the open.

But...

My lamp feels cosy and safe tucked up inside this basket.

The basket has been woven from memories.  Painful memories.  When I've experienced rejection, ridicule and humiliation.  And I find myself repeating those memories to myself: "no, you don't want to try that, remember last time you did that..."  Better to keep hidden, keep secret, the memories tell me, after all there are so many other lamps far prettier and brighter than yours, no-one would be interested in your feeble little flickering light. When no-one knows the lamp exists, then no-one can tell me my lamp isn't good enough.

Except...

Covering a lit lamp  with a flamable basket is probably not really a very good idea.  If the lamp doesn't end up snuffed out, the basket itself could ignite with catastrophic consequences.

So I've decided it's time to start unravelling the basket.  To pull apart the fears and vulnerabilities and insecurities that are keeping me hidden. This is not going to be easy, but there are particular shadows in this corner of the world that it's my job to shine into.

Our place of Safety

I was delighted to be invited to contribute to NZ Christian Mums.

My first contribution is "Our Place of Safety:”

" I open the pages of my newspaper lately and my heart grieves. In particular at the moment with the stories about ISIS from Iraq, stories about Gaza, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Nigeria, Syria… It’s hard to know how to pray, knowing that war and conflict and loss of life is ongoing. Even when today’s newspaper is recycled into pulp, there’ll be another heartbreak in some other part of the world.

Jesus told us, “You will hear of wars and rumours of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.”

When I’m faced with not knowing how to pray, I turn to the Psalms. Today, my Bible opens at Psalm 46:"

Head on over to read the rest at
http://nzchristianmum.com/2014/08/22/our-place-of-safety/

The story isn’t finished yet.

Back in 2012 I’d written the perfect end to my Earthquake Recovery Memoir.  I’d finished counselling, was feeling pretty good, and thought I was “better”.

I was kidding myself.

I’m still in the middle of this story.  The end is not even in sight yet.  Each time I think I’m making good progress, the roller-coaster swoops down into it’s next downward plunge.

Free magnetic roller coaster available from http://allright.org.nz/our-projects/resources/

So I find myself experiencing tension and stress.  That’s okay, I can fix this.  I can use those strategies I learned back in 2012: relaxation techniques, meditative prayer.

Except in 2014 they don’t seem to be working so well.

I need to try harder. I need to pray more/harder/deeper/differently.  I need to…

You don’t need to do anything to earn God’s love.

Yeah, yeah.  I know that.  Free gift of grace and all that. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

You’re not living like you know it.

Huh?  Hmmm… “Try harder, pray harder, do more.”
But I don’t need to.
I don’t need to do any of these things to earn God’s love.
Is that what I’ve been trying to do?

“Getting better” is not about me doing stuff to make myself better.  “Trying harder” doesn’t work.

So what does work?

‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ (Matthew 11:28-30)

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Rest.  Trust.

I guess it’s worth a try.

Flee while you can and other tips for Facebook Newbies

(Based on a message sent to a friend who recently joined the dark side Facebook.)

I think of Facebook like a large social gathering of my  friends with lots of conversations going on.  Whatever you might chat about in these settings would be suitable sharing, ranging from the weather, kids school achievements, moaning about government departments, etc.  More personal stuff you'd usually just talk to one or two friends about is best kept to private chat.

When posting and sharing, be sure to "separate the wheat from the chaff".  If it's something genuinely funny, entertaining, inspiring or informative then share away.

Show discernment and discretion in the following:

• If it's too good to be true, it probably is.  If someone is offering a free iPhone for sharing a post, approach with a high degree of scepticism.  If in doubt, don't.
• Warnings, unless they come from a reputable source like Civil Defence or Metservice, check with Google or a hoax-busters site first.  (Some spoof versions are worth sharing under the "genuinely funny" category.)
  
• Anything along the lines of "Share to show you care about cancer/mental illness/animals/children/the environment etc."  These do nothing to really help those affected by the issue, they just clutter up newsfeeds and turn people off the genuine causes. (Again, some spoofs are worth sharing under the "genuinely funny" category).  It's better to share informative articles from reputable sources about the issues you care about.
  
• Any video or website that makes you share before viewing the content, DON'T.  It'll most likely be objectionable material.
• Videos, etc. that with headlines like "You'll never believe what happened next...".  A lot of these seem to be hosted on sites that are paid advertisers to Facebook, and get put to the top of your newsfeed, but most of them are not up to their hype.
  
• Oversharing: What you cooked for tea last night is not probably something you'd mention at that large social gathering, unless it's a particularly special dish (like this Irish Cream Tiramisu) in which case share the recipe so we can try it too.
• Cute animals and babies are popular and populous. Try to only re-share the best of the best otherwise newsfeeds tend to get inundated.
  

Speaking of newsfeeds: be aware that Facebook controls the newsfeed with algorithms, supposedly to keep it interesting.  Don't trust Facebook.  They tend to favour posts that link to their advertisers, and they've also been known to manipulate newsfeeds for psychological experimenting.  (I.e. they play mind games with you.)  "Most Recent" is better than "Top Stories" but still sometimes filters out posts you really would be interested in.  I'd suggest opting to receive notifications for anyone whose posts you don't want to miss.

On the other hand, if your newsfeed is getting crowded by annoying or boring posts from any individual, you can "unfollow" them without "de-friending" them which will help clear up that newsfeed a bit.

Oh, and NEVER leave your Facebook logged in on an unattended device (especially around certain people I could name but won’t – you know who you all are), otherwise you might end up with this for your status:

Remember: Christ has no on-line presence but yours:


Source: http://liturgy.co.nz/christ-online-presence

Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy  - think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

What other suggestions would you add?

When Church and Community Meet

How does Church reach into its community?  Do we just sit inside our 4 walls Sunday after Sunday, singing the same songs,  praying the same prayers, chatting to the same people week after week?  Meanwhile, outside the building are hundreds of people whose only experience of church is dusty pews and scratchy hymns, where they used to venture only for weddings and funerals but now even those happen in secular venues.

Sometimes we just need to break the mould, do something completely different on a Sunday morning.

Let's throw open the doors and invite the community in, feed them barista coffee and cupcakes and a sausage sizzle, entertain with some music, give them freebies in a goodie bag, and show them what we can offer.

We put up displays highlighting the many varied activities that happen within this congregation.   We pampered and decorated, children coloured and created, we gave away stuff just 'cause we could. 

We met people we didn't know.  We told them our stories, about why we worship this God, and why this Church is such an awesome bunch of people to explore Faith together with.

And the community came.  They accepted the freebies, ate the sausages, drank the coffee, let us pray for them, and listened to us.

“There's a bit more to this than an old pipe organ then.”

All Right? Again?

My Dad used to say that we as humans can be  pretty good at adapting to stress, as long as we only have one stress at a time.  Two stresses, and we can cope, but it takes more energy.  Three or more stresses, and that's when we start not coping.  It doesn't matter so much whether the stress is big or small, its the cumulative effect that counts.

Most of Christchurch, to some degree, is already battling stress from EQC/Insurance issues, roadworks and traffic and in some areas the flooding that occurs with every heavy rainfall.  These stresses are affecting the community as a whole.

On top of this you have the various sources of stress that are unique to different people:  Health, family, finances, relationships, work, accommodation and so forth.  The thing is: we'd probably be able to sort-of cope okay with one or two of these things, but when they come on top of those community  stresses, even the small personal stresses can tip the balance between coping and not coping.

I  can see the effects of  stress among family and friends.  Tiredness and exhaustion, getting sick more often, unhealthy weight loss or gain, difficulty sleeping, strained and broken relationships,  the list goes on.  I can't think of anyone among  my circle of close friends who  aren't showing at least one of these symptoms.

And me?  I’m not conscious of feeling anxious or worried about anything, but the ache in my jaw and worn enamel on my teeth tell me my subconscious is stressed.  There’s lots of stuff on, and some days I’m struggling to keep all the balls in the air, but at the same time I’m feeling creative and positive in other areas.  It’s not so much the ups and downs, but closer to the twirling around upside down bit sometimes.

The good folk at All Right? have released some research about how we’re all coping (or not) with our post-earthquake lives. 

Key findings include:

• More than two thirds (67%) reported that they are still grieving for what’s been lost in Christchurch
• 65% of Christchurch city residents reported feeling tired in 2014 – a 10% increase on 2012
• Less than one half (48%) of respondents reported regularly sleeping well
• Almost half (44%) of those surveyed say they’re still struggling to come to terms with all that has happened as a result of the earthquakes
• More respondents agreed that it felt like their life has been normal over the last 12 months (66% in 2014, 60% in 2012)

Let’s see: Tired – Check.  Problems sleeping – sometimes.  Overwhelmed – on some days. Normal? – define “Normal”?

How about everyone else out there?  How are you getting on?